Fuck
I do try not to swear. Not out of any self-righteous bullshit, but because I find it lacking in satisfaction during conversation. If I'm hurt, I'll swear. I'll be glad to do so. However, I also hold my tongue with whatever force I can when a child or sensitive-yarble is nearby. I would actually like to replace my vulgar vocabulary with simply the word "cuss". It's fun, easy, and means little more than what it says. Of course I can't because it's not drilled into my skull--sorry, I meant: my FUCKING skull.
On another note, I'm quite bored with my life. The only thing I have to look forward to is school, which is not in any way a good thing. Well, it's good that I look forward to learning, but socially, it's bad. I need to get off this computer once in a while--take up art again (even if it is graphic art). I figure I was pretty okay at doodles (emphasis on "okay"). I'm using schoolwork as an excuse to stay inside. I have barely used my bike I got two weeks ago. I think I'm actually afraid to do anything.
O fear, the loathsome child of hesitation and despair. I fucking hate you. At this point I use you to avoid life, living, and loving.
I want to start writing, but I feel like I could fuck up and cause my school year to go downhill.
I want to start biking the trails, but I feel like I could crash or collide with a car on the way.
I want to start drawing, but I feel like I'll never get any better.
I want to start filming, but I feel like everyone's against me and I can't do a thing.
I want to start getting into shape, but... for whom?
I want to start so much, but I feel like I can only do so little.
Drama surrounds me, and so I sit in it's soup, and fuck am I sounding retarded.
I might need some help with the film class final. I can't figure out what to write. I have everything but the plot down for what I want to do.
Any ghosts feel like whispering?
No comments:
Post a Comment